March Madness is HERE! The Cyclones and Hawkeyes are in, so the madness is reaching a fever pitch in central Iowa. But before you turn those final sheets in, let’s talk “bracketology”.
First of all, no one cares about your brackets. Unless specifically asked, assume people don’t care who you’ve got for first round upsets or going to the Final Four. Please don’t bore everybody with constant Facebook status updates talking about your stupid brackets.
Someone kick me in the head if I ever pick Bill Full-of-Him-Self and Kansas to win the entire thing. I think the cheer is supposed to be “Rock CHOKE Jayhawk”. The same is true for Arizona, Duke, and any team coached by Steve Alford.
If you’ve watched a lot of college basketball and pour over stats and analysis, you’re not going to win the office pool. The office pool will be won by the lady in human resources who picks teams based on uniform colors and how cute she thinks the coach is. Or Rosie the Dog, who only picks dog mascots and refuses to advance any team that ends in “cats”.
Don’t be lured into entering the Billion Dollar Bracket Challenge. ESPN has been doing a bracket contest for 13 years and one one has ever come close to perfection. ESPN’s John Driver said it best, saying”I don’t want to say it’s impossible, but it’s basically impossible”. As in 1 in 9 quintillion. But Quicken Loans will be the big winner, gathering all that information about where you live and how much you still owe on your mortgage.
Got too much March Madness? Maybe, if you hear Dickie V in your dreams…and swear Clark Kellogg just passed you in the skywalk…and One Shining Moment makes you cry like a baby….and you’ve started referring to your younger son as a “strong 2 seed”. Try to remember it’s only a game. Or a lot of games. And remind me of that when the Cyclones make a run at the FINAL FOUR BABY!!! (And Go Hawks too)