Maxwell, Pam & Heather

Heather’s Hit List-Valentine’s Day
Heather’s Hit List-Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is stupid. And before you rush to judge why I’m saying this….I’ve always thought it’s a dumb holiday. Single, in a relationship, out of a relationship because Valentine’s Day is coming…I’ve never liked it, for several reasons.

There’s so much pressure on everyone. Men need to find the perfect gift that his wife or girlfriend actually wants, is romantic, doesn’t accidentally insult her, and will ultimately end between the sheets because hey, he’s got to get something out of this too. Women face peer pressure. If their man gives them a lame gift, their girlfriends will dissect why it’s lame for an hour. If they get nothing, even if they don’t care, their friends will silently mourn the imminent end of the relationship.

Who decided it’s a good idea to schedule a wine and candy-driven holiday just weeks after I’ve made all my new year’s resolutions to lose weight and work out? Nothing says “I love you” like pushing someone off the resolution wagon with tempting treats like a cookie bouquet and a nice red wine.

And why do we celebrate love on the anniversary of a bloody massacre? St. Valentine himself is a naked little guy who uses poisoned arrows to stalk and land his prey. He’s the folklore equivalent of the creep in the bar that has to roofie a girl to get a date!

In conclusion, it appears the only real winner of this holiday is Hallmark. Let’s all scramble to buy overpriced cards with words and pictures and thoughts created by someone else to show our love for another person! And if you don’t have a Valentine, these Some E Cards might sum up your feelings perfectly, for free.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am so happy since I got rid of you!

Nothing says Happy Valentine’s Day like a bouquet of finalized divorce papers.

You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in someone I don’t want anymore.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Your absence has only made my heart grow fonder of all the free time I have due to your absence.

Roses are red, you thought the grass would be greener, but it looks plain dead.

Don’t be upset that you’re single on Valentine’s Day- nobody loves you the other days of the year either.

Okay, Negative Nancy…time to pick them up again. Valentine’s Day is silly because we should be kind and thoughtful and loving to those we love every day of the year, not just on February 14th. Hug and kiss that special someone TODAY, don’t wait until tomorrow because Hallmark and Vermont Teddy Bear tells you to! Hugs and kisses, Heather
angry-couple-on-valentines-day-

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About Maxwell Maxwell is celebrating 34 years in radio with more than 25 years "On-The-Air" in Des Moines! His familiar voice & face grace local, regional and national radio and TV advertising, and his passion for theater has been displayed as both actor and director at Stagewest Theater Company and the Playhouse in Des Moines, where he was honored with a 2012 Playhouse "Legend" Award. He is an avid hockey fan, manning the microphone for 18 seasons as P.A. announcer for the Des Moines Buccaneers. Email Maxwell

About Pam Pam Dixon has been a familiar voice to central Iowans for over 30 years. A Beaverdale native & Hoover High graduate, Pam has to pinch herself that she’s working for the radio station she grew up listening to in Des Moines! Pam was formerly heard on KRNQ (Q-102) and KLYF in the 80’s and 90’s before being lured back to the biz by KIOA! As a breast cancer survivor, Pam is active with the Susan G. Komen Iowa Foundation and Bras for the Cause. Email Pam

About Heather Heather Burnside's quest to be on every radio & TV station in Des Moines has (hopefully!) come to an end with her latest stop at KIOA. Heather started at WHO-TV as a sportscaster, moved on to ESPN as an associate producer, and got into radio when she moved back to Iowa after two years of stalking celebrities and athletes on the East Coast. She doesn't want to talk about how she’s old enough to have a 20 year broadcasting career, instead preferring to believe she’s managed to cram all of that excitement & a 13 year radio career into one decade. Heather is very glad Pam is back, she’s like the big sister she never had. After discovering Max is a nice guy who can cook, sing, play guitar, & hit a golf ball a mile, she figures it’ll take that long to find something he isn't good at. Email Heather