Maxwell, Pam & Heather

Heather’s Hit List- The Chicago Cubs
Heather’s Hit List- The Chicago Cubs

I have a love-hate relationship with the Chicago Cubs. Here’s how it works- I love the Cubs and they hate me back by being terrible. I’ve spent most of this love affair feeling like my man is treating me wrong but I keep buying his lies and take him back. “C’mon baby, we’re sorry we sucked last year but Look! We hired Theo Epstein. Please take us back”. And I always do.

What team blames a goat and a socially-challenged virgin named Steve Bartman for their lousy fortunes? The Cubs. While their ineptness has caused heartburn and heartache, I have to admit it’s also the source of some great jokes.

What did Jesus say to the Cubs the last time he was on earth? Don’t do nothin’ until I get back” ( I have that on a t-shirt. Seriously)

What do the Minnesota Twins and Chicago Cubs have in common? Neither team has won a World Series in their new ballpark.

Or as Joe Garagiola once said- “One thing you learn as a Cubs fan: When you buy your ticket, you can bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth”

I thought 2008 was the year the Cubs would win it all. I went to 10 games that summer and got tickets to the first round of the playoffs against the Dodgers. I took former sportscaster and fellow die-hard Cubs fan Shawn Terrell with me, and on the way TO the games he thought I was the best friend ever. The Cubs lost two straight and it was awful. On the way back Shawn acted like a guy who’d been kidnapped, tortured, and woke up in a hotel room in a tub of ice with a kidney missing. I know how he felt. The Cubs had ripped my heart of my chest…AGAIN.

I would open a goat rescue farm and blow up every ball Steve Bartman has ever touched (and I do mean ALL) if I thought it would Reverse this Curse. As they celebrate a century of futility at Wrigley Field I think The Heckler said it best: 100 years at Wrigley: 3 or 4 of them good ones. Although I’m hard-pressed to think of 4. Just once in my lifetime, Cubs. Please. That’s another saying available on t-shirts the Cubs are probably making money on. Damn you Chicago Cubs, DAMN YOU! Release me from this vise-like grip!

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On the Show

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About Maxwell Maxwell is celebrating 34 years in radio with more than 25 years "On-The-Air" in Des Moines! His familiar voice & face grace local, regional and national radio and TV advertising, and his passion for theater has been displayed as both actor and director at Stagewest Theater Company and the Playhouse in Des Moines, where he was honored with a 2012 Playhouse "Legend" Award. He is an avid hockey fan, manning the microphone for 18 seasons as P.A. announcer for the Des Moines Buccaneers. Email Maxwell

About Pam Pam Dixon has been a familiar voice to central Iowans for over 30 years. A Beaverdale native & Hoover High graduate, Pam has to pinch herself that she’s working for the radio station she grew up listening to in Des Moines! Pam was formerly heard on KRNQ (Q-102) and KLYF in the 80’s and 90’s before being lured back to the biz by KIOA! As a breast cancer survivor, Pam is active with the Susan G. Komen Iowa Foundation and Bras for the Cause. Email Pam

About Heather Heather Burnside's quest to be on every radio & TV station in Des Moines has (hopefully!) come to an end with her latest stop at KIOA. Heather started at WHO-TV as a sportscaster, moved on to ESPN as an associate producer, and got into radio when she moved back to Iowa after two years of stalking celebrities and athletes on the East Coast. She doesn't want to talk about how she’s old enough to have a 20 year broadcasting career, instead preferring to believe she’s managed to cram all of that excitement & a 13 year radio career into one decade. Heather is very glad Pam is back, she’s like the big sister she never had. After discovering Max is a nice guy who can cook, sing, play guitar, & hit a golf ball a mile, she figures it’ll take that long to find something he isn't good at. Email Heather