Maxwell, Pam & Heather

Heather’s Hit List- The 24 Hour “News” Cycle
Heather’s Hit List- The 24 Hour “News” Cycle

The 24 hour “news” cycle actually contains about 20 minutes of real, actual, verified news. The other 23 hours and 40 minutes is a never-ending cycle of fluff and downright crap that’s carefully disguised as relevant INFORMATION YOU NEED TO KNOW RIGHT NOW.

The typical model is as follows- the anchor gives you the headline and the most important parts of the story and pay attention, because this might be the only things we know for sure. Now we go to the reporter “on the scene”…and sometimes we have to take their word for it, because it’s pitch black and the reporter could be standing in a broom closet for all we know. The reporter gives more details about the story, and may even repeat a few rumors they’ve heard, but it’s totally okay to repeat these rumors as long as you say “We haven’t been able to confirm this information, and I cannot stress this enough, it’s only conjecture at this time, and it may turn out to not contain any facts at all, but we want to pass along this non-information as it comes in instead of actually checking to see if it’s true before saying it. Now back to you in the studio”.

In the studio the anchors have two experts representing opposing views to the story standing by, ready to shout about these non-facts for glorious time-wasting minutes on end. If you’re just tuning in during this segment you might be alarmed to learn that it was Hillary Clinton’s positions on foreign policy that caused the Napa earthquake, or the left blames George W. Bush for everything up to and including Nicki Minaj’s wardrobe malfunction at last night’s VMA’s….Oh wait, that’s just two opinionated blow holes saying whatever fits into the talking points they wanted to make in the first place.

Now let’s go to the weather, where it’s not enough to tell you a hurricane is coming, let’s go to the meteorologist that drew the short straw and is standing outside in said hurricane, hoping he’s not swept away by the 120 mph winds and high tide he’ll tell you about in literally breathless detail. Throw in a couple of helicopter shots of a car chase in L.A. I could care less about and a skiing squirrel and we’re ready to recycle all of this at the top of the next hour. Now BACK TO YOU IN THE STUDIO!

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Bios

About Maxwell Maxwell is celebrating 34 years in radio with more than 25 years "On-The-Air" in Des Moines! His familiar voice & face grace local, regional and national radio and TV advertising, and his passion for theater has been displayed as both actor and director at Stagewest Theater Company and the Playhouse in Des Moines, where he was honored with a 2012 Playhouse "Legend" Award. He is an avid hockey fan, manning the microphone for 18 seasons as P.A. announcer for the Des Moines Buccaneers. Email Maxwell

About Pam Pam Dixon has been a familiar voice to central Iowans for over 30 years. A Beaverdale native & Hoover High graduate, Pam has to pinch herself that she’s working for the radio station she grew up listening to in Des Moines! Pam was formerly heard on KRNQ (Q-102) and KLYF in the 80’s and 90’s before being lured back to the biz by KIOA! As a breast cancer survivor, Pam is active with the Susan G. Komen Iowa Foundation and Bras for the Cause. Email Pam

About Heather Heather Burnside's quest to be on every radio & TV station in Des Moines has (hopefully!) come to an end with her latest stop at KIOA. Heather started at WHO-TV as a sportscaster, moved on to ESPN as an associate producer, and got into radio when she moved back to Iowa after two years of stalking celebrities and athletes on the East Coast. She doesn't want to talk about how she’s old enough to have a 20 year broadcasting career, instead preferring to believe she’s managed to cram all of that excitement & a 13 year radio career into one decade. Heather is very glad Pam is back, she’s like the big sister she never had. After discovering Max is a nice guy who can cook, sing, play guitar, & hit a golf ball a mile, she figures it’ll take that long to find something he isn't good at. Email Heather