I was thinking about this as I stared at the back of a car sitting at a particularly long stop light yesterday. I don’t need to know everything about you just from looking at the back window and bumper of your vehicle.
Judging from your stick family, you’re married with three kids and a dog. Or recently divorced- sorry there’s still sticky stuff on the window where your spouse was peeled off. Your bumper sticker says “My son is an honor student”, but the other two stick daughters in your stick family must not be faring as well. That’s too bad. I know how they feel, I was one of those stick daughters.
I’m sorry the election didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Maybe it’s time to remove the (insert your losing candidate here’s) sticker.
You’re a NASCAR fan but hate Kyle Busch. At least, that’s what the Calvin and Hobbs cartoon peeing on his number is telling me.
Hey, driver in front of me, you might be a tiny bit racist. Or sexist. If you don’t want me to know this, lose the “Caution, Asian Driver” and “Female driver, keep 200 feet back” bumper stickers.
And I don’t need to be lectured while looking at the back of your car. Yes, I’m aware that cell phones are bad while driving, so is drinking and driving, and speeding, and I’m honking for Jesus, and gee, tell me how you feel about guns….did you really spend 4-5 bucks to tell me all this, or are these bumper stickers just holding your car together? It looks like rust holding hands.
If you really want me to read the back of your car, how about providing an honest assessment about how you drive? Like “Prone to sudden braking for no reason”, or “will drive at inconsistent and slow speeds until you try to pass, then will speed up and tailgate you for miles afterwards”.
In conclusion, I agree with honesty in car adornments. Like the bumper sticker I saw yesterday that said “Watch out for the idiot behind me”. HA HA HA…..hey, wait a minute….